Emotional and psychological abuse is a pattern of behaviour in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instils fear in an individual to control them. It centres around manipulation, isolation, and demeaning or threatening behaviour. Nearly all cases of domestic abuse involve some form of psychological or emotional abuse, and it can happen in a relationship where there is no physical violence. Most cases we see at My Sisters’ House involve emotional and psychological abuse.
Both types of abuse can be difficult to describe or identify but it is when a perpetrator uses words and non-physical actions to manipulate, hurt, scare or upset you. Some examples of emotional and verbal abuse are:
Screaming and shouting at you
Mocking you, calling you hurtful names or using derogatory words about you
Sulking or refusing to talk or be kind until you do something they want
Making you doubt your own sanity. This is known as gaslighting. A perpetrator may gaslight you into thinking that you are remembering things wrongly or that you are misinterpreting things, later making you believe that their version of events is true. This is manipulative behaviour.
Threatening that they will destroy something, hurt you or fatally hurt themselves
Threatening to report you to the police, social services or a mental health team if you don’t do what they say
Telling you that you deserve to be abused or provoked the abuse
Threatening to kill or harm you and/or your children